


A Book With Any Other Cover

by chelsorz07



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Also fuck Angela Kang, Because fuck Scott Gimple, But I'm gonna ignore some key points in canon, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Development, Daryl Dixon's Past, Even though s9 was amazing, Friends to Lovers, I'm not sure how long this is gonna be y'all, Introspection (kind of), Jesus Lives, Minor Character Death, Oh lord this is a shitshow, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Character Death, Past Child Abuse (mentioned), Rating May Change, Slow Burn (also kind of), still don't know how to tag, title may also change, you know why
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-09 21:06:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19484035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chelsorz07/pseuds/chelsorz07
Summary: We're gonna explore how nobody really GETS Mr. Daryl Dixon until he meets this asshole hippie ninja prick and then his world doesn't just get bigger, it explodes with feels. Or something.





	1. The Dixon Stigma

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Neeka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neeka/gifts).



> No warnings yet, but that may and likely will change as we get further along. 
> 
> *First chapter is really short, but the following chapters will be less short*
> 
> Title is a loose paraphrasing of a quote that will be in the story, written by me, said by Jesus. I just couldn't get this one line out of my head and now an entire fic is forming around it? Is that a thing that happens? Anyway Jesus loves books (and Daryl), Daryl loves Jesus (both of whom may not know that for a hot minute). Other chapter notes will be less awkwardly written I hope. Also this is for Neeka because I promised my next fic would most assuredly NOT kill Paul Rovia, even if it is still a little sad sometimes lol
> 
> Thanks for reading! And I swear I'm not gonna say this every time but I'm still new to writing fanfic (and really pushing myself to actually have talking characters in this one) so bear with me *cringe*

In general, Daryl has been thoroughly misjudged his entire life.

From the time he was in grade school, teachers always thought he was dumb just because he was quiet. It was never that he didn’t know the answers; he just didn’t have the confidence to raise his hand. Or if he was called on directly, he panicked and said he didn’t know. Never mind that his test scores were uncharacteristically high for the area. That just led to accusations of cheating. 

When he reached adolescence, with the Dixons being infamous for bar brawls and drug dealing, it was just assumed Daryl had followed in Merle’s and their daddy’s footsteps. While he did participate in more than his share of fights, it was usually in defense of his brother after Merle popped off his mouth to the wrong person at the wrong time. Again. But Daryl never touched the Oxy, meth or any of the other substances Merle gave so much of a shit about.

It was a blessing when Will Dixon died, if for no other reason than to stop worrying about when the next beating would come. He never asked why, though. He’d learned a long time ago that there didn’t even need to be a why.

Daryl spent the majority of his time following his brother around in between jail stints (Merle’s, not his, never his). Whenever those sentences lasted longer than a few days or a night in the drunk tank, he managed to find a two-bit job that paid just enough to keep him alive in that two-bit town. But the stigma never really left him. Everyone knew what a piece of shit his daddy was. Everyone knew what a piece of shit Merle was. It stood to reason that the youngest Dixon apple hadn’t fallen far from the tree.

After thirty plus years of the same whispered insults and sidelong glances about him and his family, Daryl figured it was just easier to let people think what they wanted to think. He didn’t have nothin’ to prove and those assholes weren’t worth proving something to anyhow.

When the world ended, not much changed. At least not right away. You grow up with nothing in Podunk, USA, every day feels like the apocalypse. The dead walking didn’t seem like anything he couldn’t handle, especially with Merle at his side. Then they found the group at the quarry, and even that didn’t affect people’s presumptions of him.

Until the only thing left of Merle was a hand on a rooftop. And Sophia Peletier disappeared.


	2. Beth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth Greene has an impact on Daryl on several levels, none of which he even knew he had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically seasons 2b through 5a, from Daryl's POV. He's in pain, guys. I won't keep him there forever.
> 
> Thanks to everyone for the positivity on chapter 1!! I cannot describe my love for y'all ♥

Daryl became a valued member of the group even before Shane showed his true colors, but he didn’t really feel like any of the survivors saw him for who he was until after they’d lost the farm and found the prison. That’s when Rick became his family, the rest following by default. Carol went missing in the tombs, and Daryl felt a grief the likes of which he hadn't known since the night his mama burned. When he found her alive, he vowed right then to do anything he could to keep these people safe. But he couldn’t save Lori. Or T-Dog. Andrea, Merle, Hershel, Beth.

Losing Beth was…

That little girl was nothing more than a gnat in his ear early on. So innocent and optimistic, he never believed she’d make it until after they escaped the prison together. Then he recognized the same strength in her that her sister and father possessed. Maybe more so.

“You’re gonna miss me so bad when I’m gone,” she’d said.

Daryl’d never had time to miss anyone. His friends died. They buried them. And then the next threat was knocking at their door and you just had to pick up and move on.

But Beth Greene was a force all her own. She dug in underneath the long-buried layers of Daryl’s soul and with a couple jars of ‘shine, got him to bare the one thing everybody’d been wondering about him since the start: who was he before all this? He just didn’t think it mattered. But it mattered to her, so she mattered to him.

It was the not knowing that did it. If someone you love dies, at least you can tell yourself they ain’t fighting for every meal, every night of sleep, every breath anymore. You feel a chasm in their absence that can never be filled back up, but you go on fighting because that’s what they died for in the first place. The concept of paradoxes was never lost on Daryl. He just didn’t tend to pay them any mind since there was no point fighting the inevitable.

But when they’re just gone? Until he met up with the others before Terminus, before they realized what Gareth and his people were, a small part of him hoped that she’d made it there so at least he would know whether she was dead or alive. In hindsight, not seeing her in that place had brought some small comfort. But then the doubt just gnawed at his brain again.

And it chewed and scratched, until not even reuniting with Carol could silence the question. If anything, the voice in his head screaming _FIND HER_ just got louder. Because if, after everything, Carol could make her way back to and _save_ them, surely Beth had to still be out there.

Thing is, he loved the girl. He’d never call it sexual, but it was definitely the closest thing to romantic he could fathom. He couldn’t just see her as Maggie’s little sister, or even his own, as it were. No, he _loved_ her. He’d never felt anything like it before. It wasn’t physical desire, but an unclenching need to go to every length possible to keep her alive, see her smile, and give her the dream future she’d confessed to him on the porch of that shack.

And then she was gone. Really gone, and his whole world whited out against his will. The only thing that registered as he carried her body out of the hospital was the anguish of Maggie’s screams. If he hadn't been holding onto Beth, Daryl would have collapsed to the pavement right alongside the last remaining member of the Greene family. They’d been so close. Beth was under his arm one moment and her brain matter covered Rick’s face in the next.

“I know you lost something back there,” Rick told him. Daryl couldn’t respond because he didn’t have the words. He hadn’t lost something; he’d lost everything. And he swore to himself that he would never let anyone be his everything again.


End file.
